I spent a lot of time in the late summer cooking, trying out new recipes, making pasta and home-brewed limoncello, knowing that before long, I would be in the middle of a new semester, swamped with student papers to grade and feeling the deadline to defend and deposit my dissertation loom large.
That's where we're at right now.
A year or two ago, I went to an academic conference and saw many of the scholars who populate my bookcases and essays. It was exciting. One of my favorite brilliant professors met us for sushi and sake (I'd never had sake before! I'm a complete lightweight!), and chatted with us as though we were people, friends, rather than as students. When we parted ways we spoke about the difficulties in writing, and I expressed anxiety about writing this dissertation. She hugged me and encouraged me to write, saying simply, "let's make a pact." This was a humbling and exhilarating moment for me-- thinking that someone I admire so much, whose work has helped shape the way I think about my own writing and critical approaches, could make a pact with me to write. This has been at the back of my brain, quietly urging me to keep going.
So for the past two months, I've been essentially living at my desk doing nothing but reading, re-reading, and writing (and rewriting!). I drink a lot of coffee. I eat trail mix and ramen and nori (omega 3's for my brain!). I obsess over my word count. I go through post-it notes like there's no tomorrow. I keep a pitcher of water and two sets of headphones by my side at all times. I wear wrist bands to stave off carpal tunnel.
(I feel like I should take up smoking, since all the best writers seem to chain smoke. Since I don't I've developed a habit of munching on mints as I type-- until I discovered that the icebreakers I've been downing mostly contain sugar substitutes called malitol and sorbitol, which, if you have too much in your system, can cause great g.i. distress!)
In any case, it's glorious. The cats stay up with me until all hours.
Here Mini implores me to quit typing and go to bed.
Here is one of my 2 crates of research (it is no longer in this fastidious order.) not to mention the piles of books on my table, floor, and bookshelves. Or the library books I have. Or the inter-library loan library I've accumulated.
And yet, in the backyard, I'm reminded that life continues on, that new life is growing even as I'm sequestering myself away so that I can finish writing my dissertation and finally graduate with my Ph.D.
We transplanted a patch of grass about 5" square, and it's sitting at the edge of our backyard patio, at the margin of our zero-scaping. Under the sod, we put down a layer of our own compost that's been accumulating and cooking for forever. And in the corner of this box of grass (that we call the "pet patch") emerged a cantaloupe vine. That has SIX cantaloupes on it. We didn' t plant them. We had no idea what they were for the longest time (watermelons? cucumbers? squash? pumpkins?) It's miraculous. Sometimes in the evenings, Zips goes out to water the plants, including the pet patch and the melons.
Since I've churned out 3 out of 4 chapters that will constitute the body of the diss, I've eased up a little bit. I've made vegetarian spicy sushi. A wonderful new puree of carrot soup that I'll have to post here.
Last night, Zips found and followed an awful (awful) recipe for carrot cake that was on the back of a raisin container (it called for shortening. it ended up with the texture of cornbread and tasted salty). So I threw it away and pulled out the vegan cupcake book. Every recipe I've tried, I swear, is amazing. The carrot cake cupcake is FREAKING DELICIOUS. The recipe makes literally 8 cupcakes, so there's no danger in overindulging (but you'll really really want to).
Carrot Cake Cupcakes (accidentally not vegan...)
2/3 c. flour
3/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. cinnamon (I used closer to 1/2 tsp)
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
(I also added 1/4 tsp. ground cloves and 1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg... why not?)
sift together dry ingredients
2/3 c. sugar (I'm out of white sugar, so used brown, and it tasted FINE)
1/3 c. veg. oil
1/3 c. plain soy yogurt (I'm out of soy yogurt, so used plain dairy yogurt, and it turned out FINE)
1 generous tsp. vanilla
Mix wet ingredients together until completely combined. Then add dry ingredients. Then fold in chunky bits:
1 c. shredded carrots (I grated one large-ish carrot)
1/4 c. raisins (and dry cranberries if you want to trick it out)
1/4 c. chopped walnuts (I skipped this)
Distribute into cupcake liners (fill 2/3 of the way) and bake for about 25 minutes, until they pass a toothpick test.
When they cool, frost with Cream Cheese Frosting (which you can also make!) Take a load off and eat one. Save one for breakfast (since they have carrots in them, they're healthy!)
So I have something to eat as I get back to work. Hopefully I'll post happy news soon. Either when I finish writing... or when we eat the cantaloupes!